I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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