i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
