Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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