Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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