No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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