I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
organizing the empties. That sober.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
