Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
