I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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