Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
as a side note pls kill me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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