If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
