Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
