Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
