My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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