38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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