I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
