chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
