i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
