All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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