Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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