suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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