He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
