Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
