You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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