I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
