meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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