i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
