Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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