what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
