Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
