I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
