You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
