Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
