The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
