Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
