Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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