He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
