I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We have started to decorate penises.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
