dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
