Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
