If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
