She's JV to your varsity
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
