soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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