No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
