Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
