When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
