she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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