You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
