It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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