So drunk its hurt
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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