I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
