awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
